years ago, I was traveling on the M1, going south on fifth avenue, on my way to high school. I was sitting in back, the last seat of the bus, next to the window. A man sitting some, five or so seats ahead of me, began rummaging around his seat, calmly at first, until he was frantically scratching away at the crack between the seats. Whispered profanities evolved into animal grunts and groans as he wrestled with the blue plastic forms, attempting to tear them from the wall of the bus. The bus driver's cocked eyebrows could be seen in the mirror for quite some time now and suddenly he pulled over the bus and stood up.
"WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY BUS!"
to which the angry, sweaty man instantly replied
"MY GODDAMNED WEDDING BAND FELL IN THE CRACK!"
Now all passengers had eyes on the scene, a new york city classic performed with a bit too much gusto. Bad actors. I'm gettin' off. The bus leaned to one side as the passengers crowded around, all trying to fit their fingers between the seats. There was something faintly obscene about the whole thing though i couldn't quite put my... Some one yelled "HE"S LYING! THEIR AINT NO RING DOWN THERE!" I thought the angry man would strangle the heckler for ruining the grand performance. I waited for the riot to break out, for the mob to tear the seats from the wall and throw them through the windows FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Just then an elderly woman whipped a red handled switchblade from her purse and held it under the bus driver and the angry man's noses. I gasped.
"SCREW DRIVER" she says.
"SCREW YOU LADY!" said the bus driver.
"NO! SCREWDRIVER!"
Everyone blushed as the bus driver took the red handled screwdriver in his hand.
I didn't stay to watch them sensibly disassemble the bus, sabotaging the entire M1 schedule that day. I got off, and walked. What an asshole. How'd it get stuck down there in the first place huh?
The image above is a panel from a short comic titled "Helluva Night."
It is at this point that John realizes Mary is committing an act of cybernetic adultery.
Oh John, you fool! You could never compete with 6 cylinders and power steering!